Hold Me Tight – by Dr. Sue Johnson
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A lot of relationship books are quite wishy-washy. This one isn’t.
This one is evidenced-based (and heavily referenced!), and yet at the same time as being deeply rooted in science, it doesn’t lose the human touch.
Dr. Johnson has spent her career as a clinical psychologist and researcher; she’s the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 35 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. In other words, it works.
EFT—and thus also this book—finds roots in Attachment Theory. As such, topics this book covers include:
- Recognizing and recovering from attachment injury
- How fights in a relationship come up, and how they can be avoided
- How lot of times relationships end, it’s not because of fights, but a loss of emotional connection
- Building a lifetime of love instead, falling in love again each day
This book lays the groundwork for ensuring a strong, secure, ongoing emotional bond, of the kind that makes/keeps a relationship joyful and fulfilling.
Dr. Johnson has been recognized in her field with a Lifetime Achievement Award, and the Order of Canada.
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The Joy of Saying No – by Natalie Lue
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Superficially, this seems an odd topic for an entire book. “Just say no”, after all, surely! But it’s not so simple as that, is it?
Lue looks into what underpins people-pleasing, first. Then, she breaks it down into five distinct styles of people-pleasing that each come from slightly different motivations and ways of perceiving how we interact with those around us.
Lest this seem overly complicated, those five styles are what she calls: gooding, efforting, avoiding, saving, suffering.
She then looks out how to have a healthier relationship with our yes/no decisions; first by observing, then by creating healthy boundaries. “Healthy” is key here; this isn’t about being a jerk to everyone! Quite the contrary, it involves being honest about what we can and cannot reasonably take on.
The last section is about improving and troubleshooting this process, and constitutes a lot of the greatest value of the book, since this is where people tend to err the most.
Bottom line: this book is informative, clear, and helpful. And far from disappointing everyone with “no”, we can learn to really de-stress our relationships with others—and ourselves.
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Good (Or Bad) Health Starts With Your Blood
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Blood Should Be Only Slightly Thicker Than Water
This is Dr. Casey Means, a physician, lecturer (mostly at Stanford), and CMO of a metabolic health company, Levels, as well as being Associate Editor of the International Journal of Diabetes Reversal and Prevention, where she serves alongside such names as Dr. Colin Campbell, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, Dr. Michael Greger, Dr. William Li, Dr. Dean Ornish, and you get the idea: it’s a star-studded cast.
What does she want us to know?
The big blood problem:
❝We’re spending 3.8 trillion dollars a year on healthcare costs in the U.S., and the reality is that people are getting sicker, fatter, and more depressed.
Over 50% of Americans have pre-diabetes or type 2 diabetes; it’s insane, that number should be close to zero.❞
~ Dr. Casey Means
Indeed, pre-diabetes and especially type 2 diabetes should be very avoidable in any wealthy nation.
Unfortunately, the kind of diet that avoids it tends to rely on having at least 2/3 of the following:
- Money
- Time
- Knowledge
For example:
- if you have money and time, you can buy lots of fresh ingredients without undue worry, and take the time to carefully prep and cook them
- if you have money and knowledge you can have someone else shop and cook for you, or at least get meal kits delivered
- if you have time and knowledge, you can actually eat very healthily on a shoestring budget
If you have all three, then the world’s your oyster mushroom steak sautéed in extra virgin olive oil with garlic and cracked black pepper served on a bed of Swiss chard and lashed with Balsamic vinegar.
However, many Americans aren’t in the happy position of having at least 2/3, and a not-insignificant portion of the population don’t even have 1/3.
As an aside: there is a food scientist and chef who’s made it her mission to educate people about food that’s cheap, easy, and healthy:
…but today is about Dr. Means, so, what does she suggest?
Know
thyselfthy blood sugarsDr. Means argues (reasonably; this is well-backed up by general scientific consensus) that much of human disease stems from the diabetes and pre-diabetes that she mentioned above, and so we should focus on that most of all.
Our blood sugar levels being unhealthy will swiftly lead to other metabolic disorders:
Heart disease and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease are perhaps first in line, but waiting in the wings are inflammation-mediated autoimmune disorders, and even dementia, because neuroinflammation is at least as bad as inflammation anywhere else, arguably worse, and our brain can only be as healthy as the blood that feeds it and takes things that shouldn’t be there away.
Indeed,
❝Alzheimer’s dementia is now being called type 3 diabetes because it’s so related to blood sugar❞
~ Dr. Casey Means
…which sounds like a bold claim, but it’s true, even if the name is not “official” yet, it’s well-established in professional circulation:
❝We conclude that the term “type 3 diabetes” accurately reflects the fact that AD represents a form of diabetes that selectively involves the brain and has molecular and biochemical features that overlap with both T1DM and T2DM❞
~ Dr. Suzanne M. de la Monte & Dr. Jack Wands
Read in full: Alzheimer’s Disease Is Type 3 Diabetes–Evidence Reviewed ← this is from the very respectable Journal of Diabetes Science and Technology.
What to do about it
Dr. Means suggests we avoid the “glucose roller-coaster” that most Americans are on, meaning dramatic sugar spikes, or to put it in sciencese: high glycemic variability.
This leads to inflammation, oxidative stress, glycation (where sugar sticks to proteins and DNA), and metabolic dysfunction. Then there’s the flipside: reactive hypoglycemia, a result of a rapid drop in blood sugar after a spike, can cause anxiety, fatigue, weakness/trembling, brain fog, and of course cravings. And so the cycle repeats.
But it doesn’t have to!
By taking it upon ourselves to learn about what causes our blood sugars to rise suddenly or gently, we can manage our diet and other lifestyle factors accordingly.
And yes, it’s not just about diet, Dr. Means tells us. While added sugar and refined carbohydrates or indeed the main drivers of glycemic variability, our sleep, movement, stress management, and even toxin exposure play important parts too.
One way to do this, that Dr. Means recommends, is with a continuous glucose monitor:
Track Your Blood Sugars For Better Personalized Health
Another way is to just apply principles that work for almost everyone:
10 Ways To Balance Blood Sugars
Want to know more from Dr. Means?
You might like her book:
Good Energy – by Dr. Casey Means
…which goes into this in far more detail than we have room to today.
Enjoy!
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The Truth About Chocolate & Skin Health
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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
❝What’s the science on chocolate and acne? Asking for a family member❞
The science is: these two things are broadly unrelated to each other.
There was a very illustrative study done specifically for this, though!
❝65 subjects with moderate acne ate either a bar containing ten times the amount of chocolate in a typical bar, or an identical-appearing bar which contained no chocolate. Counting of all the lesions on one side of the face before and after each ingestion period indicated no difference between the bars.
Five normal subjects ingested two enriched chocolate bars daily for one month; this represented a daily addition of the diet of 1,200 calories, of which about half was vegetable fat. This excessive intake of chocolate and fat did not alter the composition or output of sebum.
A review of studies purporting to show that diets high in carbohydrate or fat stimulate sebaceous secretion and adversely affect acne vulgaris indicates that these claims are unproved.❞
Source: Effect of Chocolate on Acne Vulgaris
As for what might help against acne more than needlessly abstaining from chocolate:
Why Do We Have Pores, And Could We Not?
…as well as:
Of Brains & Breakouts: The Neuroscience Of Your Skin
And here are some other articles that might interest you about chocolate:
- Chocolate & Health: Fact or Fiction?
- The “Love Drug”: Get PEA-Brained!
- Enjoy Bitter Foods For Your Heart & Brain
Enjoy! And while we have your attention… Would you like this section to be bigger? If so, send us more questions!
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Melatonin: A Safe, Natural Sleep Aid?
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Melatonin: A safe sleep supplement?
Melatonin is a hormone normally made in our pineal gland. It helps regulate our circadian rhythm, by making us sleepy.
It has other roles too—it has a part to play in regulating immune function, something that also waxes and wanes as a typical day goes by.
Additionally, since melatonin and cortisol are antagonistic to each other, a sudden increase in either will decrease the other. Our brain takes advantage of this, by giving us a cortisol spike in the morning to help us wake up.
As a supplement, it’s generally enjoyed with the intention of inducing healthy, natural, restorative sleep.
Does it really induce healthy, natural, restorative, sleep?
Yes! Well, “natural” is a little subject and relative, if you’re taking it as a supplement, but it’s something your body produces naturally anyway.
Contrast with, for example, benzodiazepines (that whole family of medications with names ending in -azopan or -alozam), or other tranquilizing drugs that do not so much induce healthy sleep, but rather reduce your brain function and hopefully knock you out, and/but often have unwanted side effects, and a tendency to create dependency.
Melatonin, unlike most of those drugs, does not create dependency, and furthermore, we don’t develop tolerance to it. In other words, the same dose will continue working (we won’t need more and more).
In terms of benefits, melatonin not only reduces the time to fall asleep and increases total sleep time, but also (quite a bonus) improves sleep quality, too:
Meta-Analysis: Melatonin for the Treatment of Primary Sleep Disorders
Because it is a natural hormone rather than a drug with many side effects and interactions, it’s also beneficial for those who need good sleep and/but don’t want tranquilizing:
Any other benefits?
Yes! It can also help guard against Seasonal Affective Disorder, also called seasonal depression. Because SAD is not just about “not enough light = not enough serotonin”, but also partly about circadian rhythm and (the body is not so sure what time of day it is when there are long hours of darkness, or even, in the other hemisphere / other time of year, long hours of daylight), melatonin can help, by giving your brain something to “anchor” onto, provided you take it at the same time each day. See:
- Is seasonal affective disorder a disorder of circadian rhythms?
- The circadian basis of winter depression: the case for low-dose melatonin use
As a small bonus, melatonin also promotes HGH production (important for maintaining bone and muscle mass, especially in later life):
Anything we should worry about?
Assuming taking a recommended dose only (0.5mg–10mg per day), toxicity is highly unlikely, especially given that it has a half-life of only 40–60 minutes, so it’ll be eliminated quite quickly.
However! It does indeed induce sleepiness, so for example, don’t take melatonin and then try to drive or operate heavy machinery—or, ideally, do anything other than go to bed.
It can interfere with some medications. We mentioned that melatonin helps regulate immune function, so for example that’s something to bear in mind if you’re on immunosuppressants or otherwise have an autoimmune disorder. It can also interfere with blood pressure medications and blood thinners, and may make epilepsy meds less effective.
As ever, if in doubt, please speak with your doctor and/or pharmacist.
Where to get it?
As ever, we don’t sell it (or anything else), but for your convenience, here is an example product on Amazon.
Enjoy!
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – by Dr. John Gottman
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
A lot of relationship advice can seem a little wishy-washy. Hardline clinical work, on the other hand, can seem removed from the complex reality of married life. Dr. Gottman, meanwhile, strikes a perfect balance.
He looks at huge datasets, and he listens to very many couples. He famously isolated four relational factors that predict divorce with 91% accuracy, his “Four Horsemen”:
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
He also, as the title of this book promises (and we get a chapter-by-chapter deep-dive on each of them) looks at “Seven principles for making marriage work”. They’re not one-word items, so including them here would take up the rest of our space, and this is a book review not a book summary. However…
Dr. Gottman’s seven principles are, much like his more famous “four horsemen”, deeply rooted in science, while also firmly grounded in the reality of individual couples. Essentially, by listening to very many couples talk about their relationships, and seeing how things panned out with each of them in the long-term, he was able to see what things kept on coming up each time in the couples that worked out. What did they do differently?
And, that’s the real meat of the book. Science yes, but lots of real-world case studies and examples, from couples that worked and couples that didn’t.
In so doing, he provides a roadmap for couples who are serious about making their marriage the best it can be.
Bottom line: this is a must-have book for couples in general, no matter how good or bad the relationship.
- For some it’ll be a matter of realising “You know what; this isn’t going to work”
- For others, it’ll be a matter of “Ah, relief, this is how we can resolve that!”
- For still yet others, it’ll be a matter of “We’re doing these things right; let’s keep them forefront in our minds and never get complacent!”
- And for everyone who is in a relationship or thinking of getting into one, it’s a top-tier manual.
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What Are “Adaptogens” Anyway? (And Other Questions Answered)
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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
❝I tried to use your calculator for heart health, and was unable to enter in my height or weight. Is there another way to calculate? Why will that field not populate?❞
(this is in reference to yesterday’s main feature “How Are You, Really? And How Old Is Your Heart?“)
How strange! We tested it in several desktop browsers and several mobile browsers, and were unable to find any version that didn’t work. That includes switching between metric and imperial units, per preference; both appear to work fine. Do be aware that it’ll only take numerical imput, though.
Did anyone else have this problem? Let us know! (You can reply to this email, or use the handy feedback widget at the bototm)
❝I may have missed it, but how much black pepper provides benefits?❞
So, for any new subscribers joining us today, this is about two recent main features:
As for a daily dosage of black pepper, it varies depending on the benefit you’re looking for, but:
- 5–20mg of piperine is the dosage range used in most scientific studies we looked at
- 10mg is a very common dosage found in many popular supplements
- That’s the mass of piperine though, so if taking it as actual black pepper rather than as an extract, ½ teaspoon is considered sufficient to enjoy benefits.
❝I loved the health benefits of pepper. I do not like pepper. Where can I get it as a supplement?❞
You can simply buy whole black peppercorns and take a few with water as though they were tablets. Your stomach acid will do the rest. Black pepper is also good for digestion, so taking it with a meal is best.
You can buy piperine (black pepper extract) by itself as a supplement in powder form, but if you don’t like black pepper, you will probably not like this powder either. We couldn’t find it readily in capsule form.
You can buy piperine (black pepper extract) as an adjunct to other supplements, with perhaps the most common/popular being turmeric capsules that also contain 10mg (or more) piperine per capsule. Shop around if you like, but here’s one that has 15mg piperine* per capsule, for example.
*They call it “Bioperine®” but that is literally just piperine. Same goes if you see “Absorbagen™”, it’s still just piperine.
❝What do you mean when you say that something is adaptogenic?❞
Simple version: it means it helps the body adapt to stress, by adjusting the body’s natural responses. Thus, adaptogenic supplements can be contrasted with tranquilizing drugs that mask stress by brute force, for example.
Technical version: adaptogenic activity refers to improving physiological stress resilience, such as by moderating and modulating hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis signaling, and/or by regulating levels of endogenic compounds involved in the cellular stress response.
Read more (technical version):
Read more (simple version):
European Medicines Agency’s Reflection Paper On The Adaptogenic Concept
Enjoy!
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