Codependent No More – by Melody Beattie
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This is a book review, not a book summary, but first let’s quickly cover a common misconception, because the word “codependent” gets misused a lot in popular parlance:
- What codependence isn’t: “we depend on each other and must do everything together”
- What codependence is:“person 1 has a dependency on a substance (or perhaps a behavior, such as gambling); person 2 is trying to look after person 1, and so has developed a secondary relationship with the substance/behavior. Person 2 is now said to be codependent, because it becomes all-consuming for them too, even if they’re not using the substance/behavior directly”
Funny how often it happens that the reality is more complex than the perception, isn’t it?
Melody Beattie unravels all this for us. We get a compassionate and insightful look at how we can look after ourselves, while looking after another. Perhaps most importantly: how and where to draw a line of what we can and cannot do/change for them.
Because when we love someone, of course we want to fight their battles with them, if not for them. But if we want to be their rock of strength, we can’t get lost in it too, and of course that hurts.
Beatty takes us through these ideas and more, for example:
- How to examine our own feelings even when it’s scary
- How to practice self-love and regain self-worth, while still caring for them
- How to stop being reactionary, step back, and act with purpose
If the book has any weak point, it’s that it repeatedly recommends 12-step programs, when in reality that’s just one option. But for those who wish to take another approach, this book does not require involvement in a 12-step program, so it’s not a barrier to usefulness.
Click here to check out Codependent No More and take care of yourself, too
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How much weight do you actually need to lose? It might be a lot less than you think
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If you’re one of the one in three Australians whose New Year’s resolution involved losing weight, it’s likely you’re now contemplating what weight-loss goal you should actually be working towards.
But type “setting a weight loss goal” into any online search engine and you’ll likely be left with more questions than answers.
Sure, the many weight-loss apps and calculators available will make setting this goal seem easy. They’ll typically use a body mass index (BMI) calculator to confirm a “healthy” weight and provide a goal weight based on this range.
Your screen will fill with trim-looking influencers touting diets that will help you drop ten kilos in a month, or ads for diets, pills and exercise regimens promising to help you effortlessly and rapidly lose weight.
Most sales pitches will suggest you need to lose substantial amounts of weight to be healthy – making weight loss seem an impossible task. But the research shows you don’t need to lose a lot of weight to achieve health benefits.
Using BMI to define our target weight is flawed
We’re a society fixated on numbers. So it’s no surprise we use measurements and equations to score our weight. The most popular is BMI, a measure of our body weight-to-height ratio.
BMI classifies bodies as underweight, normal (healthy) weight, overweight or obese and can be a useful tool for weight and health screening.
But it shouldn’t be used as the single measure of what it means to be a healthy weight when we set our weight-loss goals. This is because it:
- fails to consider two critical factors related to body weight and health – body fat percentage and distribution
- does not account for significant differences in body composition based on gender, ethnicity and age.
How does losing weight benefit our health?
Losing just 5–10% of our body weight – between 6 and 12kg for someone weighing 120kg – can significantly improve our health in four key ways.
1. Reducing cholesterol
Obesity increases the chances of having too much low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol – also known as bad cholesterol – because carrying excess weight changes how our bodies produce and manage lipoproteins and triglycerides, another fat molecule we use for energy.
Having too much bad cholesterol and high triglyceride levels is not good, narrowing our arteries and limiting blood flow, which increases the risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke.
But research shows improvements in total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels are evident with just 5% weight loss.
2. Lowering blood pressure
Our blood pressure is considered high if it reads more than 140/90 on at least two occasions.
Excess weight is linked to high blood pressure in several ways, including changing how our sympathetic nervous system, blood vessels and hormones regulate our blood pressure.
Essentially, high blood pressure makes our heart and blood vessels work harder and less efficiently, damaging our arteries over time and increasing our risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke.
Losing weight can lower your blood pressure.
Prostock-studio/ShutterstockLike the improvements in cholesterol, a 5% weight loss improves both systolic blood pressure (the first number in the reading) and diastolic blood pressure (the second number).
A meta-analysis of 25 trials on the influence of weight reduction on blood pressure also found every kilo of weight loss improved blood pressure by one point.
3. Reducing risk for type 2 diabetes
Excess body weight is the primary manageable risk factor for type 2 diabetes, particularly for people carrying a lot of visceral fat around the abdomen (belly fat).
Carrying this excess weight can cause fat cells to release pro-inflammatory chemicals that disrupt how our bodies regulate and use the insulin produced by our pancreas, leading to high blood sugar levels.
Type 2 diabetes can lead to serious medical conditions if it’s not carefully managed, including damaging our heart, blood vessels, major organs, eyes and nervous system.
Research shows just 7% weight loss reduces risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 58%.
4. Reducing joint pain and the risk of osteoarthritis
Carrying excess weight can cause our joints to become inflamed and damaged, making us more prone to osteoarthritis.
Observational studies show being overweight doubles a person’s risk of developing osteoarthritis, while obesity increases the risk fourfold.
Small amounts of weight loss alleviate this stress on our joints. In one study each kilogram of weight loss resulted in a fourfold decrease in the load exerted on the knee in each step taken during daily activities.
Losing weight eases stress on joints.
Shutterstock/Rostislav_SedlacekFocus on long-term habits
If you’ve ever tried to lose weight but found the kilos return almost as quickly as they left, you’re not alone.
An analysis of 29 long-term weight-loss studies found participants regained more than half of the weight lost within two years. Within five years, they regained more than 80%.
When we lose weight, we take our body out of its comfort zone and trigger its survival response. It then counteracts weight loss, triggering several physiological responses to defend our body weight and “survive” starvation.
Just as the problem is evolutionary, the solution is evolutionary too. Successfully losing weight long-term comes down to:
losing weight in small manageable chunks you can sustain, specifically periods of weight loss, followed by periods of weight maintenance, and so on, until you achieve your goal weight
making gradual changes to your lifestyle to ensure you form habits that last a lifetime.
Setting a goal to reach a healthy weight can feel daunting. But it doesn’t have to be a pre-defined weight according to a “healthy” BMI range. Losing 5–10% of our body weight will result in immediate health benefits.
At the Boden Group, Charles Perkins Centre, we are studying the science of obesity and running clinical trials for weight loss. You can register here to express your interest.
Nick Fuller, Charles Perkins Centre Research Program Leader, University of Sydney
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down – by Haemin Sunim
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First, what this one’s not about: noticing raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
That’s great too, though. This writer particularly loves the cute faces of baby jumping spiders. Sounds unlikely, but have you seen them?
What it’s rather about: noticing what’s between your ears, and paying closer attention to that, so that we can go about our business more mindfully.
This is, fundamentally, a book about living a happier life, whatever the potentially crazy circumstances of the hustle and bustle around us. Not because of disinterest; quite the opposite. Sunim bids us ask the question of ourselves, what are we really doing and why?
The writing style is very light and easy, while being heavy-hitting in terms of the ideas it brings. Little wonder that this one is so highly-rated on Amazon, with more than 5,000 ratings.
Bottom line: if sometimes you feel like the world is a little hectic and all that is around you is out of your control, this is a great book for you.
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Healing Cracked Fingers
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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
❝Question. Suffer from cracked (split) finger tips in the cold weather. Very painful, is there something I can take to ward off this off. Appreciate your daily email.❞
Ouch, painful indeed! Aside from good hydration (which is something we easily forget in cold weather), there’s no known internal guard against this*, but from the outside, oil-based moisturizers are the way to go.
Olive oil, coconut oil, jojoba oil, and shea butter are all fine options.
If the skin is broken such that infection is possible, then starting with an antiseptic ointment/cream is sensible. A good example product is Savlon, unless you are allergic to its active ingredient chlorhexidine.
*However, if perchance you are also suffering from peripheral neuropathy (a common comorbidity of cracked skin in the extremities), then lion’s main mushroom can help with that.
Writer’s anecdote: I myself started suffering from peripheral neuropathy in my hands earlier this year, doubtlessly due to some old injuries of mine.
However, upon researching for the above articles, I was inspired to try lion’s mane mushroom for myself. I take it daily, and have now been free of symptoms of peripheral neuropathy for several months.
Here’s an example product on Amazon, by the way
Enjoy!
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Revealed: The Soviet Secret Recipe For Success That The CIA Admits Put The US To Shame
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Today’s edition of 10almonds brings you a blast from the past with a modern twist: an ancient Russian peasant food that became a Soviet staple, and today, is almost unknown in the West.
Before we get to that, let’s take a sneaky look at this declassified CIA memorandum from near the end of the Cold War:
(Click here to see a bigger version)
The take-away here is:
- Americans were eating 2–3 times more meat than Soviets
- Soviets were eating nearly double the amount of grain products and potatoes
…and both of these statistics meant that nutritionally speaking, the Soviets were doing better.
Americans also consumed more sugar and fats, which again, wasn’t the best dietary option.
But was the American diet tastier? Depends on whom you ask.
Which brings us to a literal recipe we’re going to be sharing with you today:
It’s not well-known in the West, but in Russia, it’s a famous national comfort food, a bastion of health and nutrition, and it rose to popularity because it was not only cheap and nutritious, but also, you could eat it for days without getting sick of it. And it could be easily frozen for reheating later without losing any of its appeal—it’d still be just as good.
In Russia there are sayings about it:
Щи да каша — пища наша (Shchi da kasha — pishcha nasha)
“Shchi and buckwheat are what we eat”
Top tip: buckwheat makes an excellent (and naturally sweet) alternative to porridge oats if prepared the same way!
Где щи, там и нас ищи (Gdye shchi, tam i nas ishchi)
“Where there’s shchi, us you’ll see”
Голь голью, а луковка во щах есть (Gol’ gol’yu, a lukovka vo shchakh yest’)
“I’m stark naked, but there’s shchi with onions”
There’s a very strong sentiment in Russia that really, all you need is shchi (shchi, shchi… shchi is all you need )
But what, you may ask, is shchi?
Our culinary cultural ambassador Nastja is here to offer her tried-and-tested recipe for…
…Russian cabbage soup (yes, really—bear with us now, and you can thank us later)
There are a lot of recipes for shchi (see for yourself what the Russian version of Lifehacker recommends), and we’ll be offering our favorite…
Nastja’s Nutritious and Delicious Homemade Shchi
Hi, Nastja here! I’m going to share with you my shchi recipe that is:
- Cheap
- So tasty
- Super nutritious*
- Vegan
- Gluten Free
You will also need:
- A cabbage (I use sweetheart, but any white cabbage will do)
- 1 cup (250g) red lentils (other kinds of lentils will work too)
- ½ lb or so (250–300g) tomatoes (I use baby plum tomatoes, but any kind will do)
- ½ lb or so (250–300g) mushrooms (the edible kind)
- An onion (I use a brown onion; any kind will do)
- Salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, parsley, cumin
- Marmite or similar yeast extract (do you hate it? Me too. Trust me, it’ll be fine, you’ll love it. Omit if you’re a coward.)
- A little oil for sautéing (I use sunflower, but canola is fine, as is soy oil. Do not use olive oil or coconut oil, because the taste is too strong and the flashpoint too low)
First, what the French call mise-en-place, the prep work:
- Chop the cabbage into small strips, ⅛–¼ inch x 1 inch is a good guideline, but you can’t really go wrong unless you go to extremes
- Chop the tomatoes. If you’re using baby plum tomatoes (or cherry tomatoes), cut them in half. If using larger tomatoes, cut them into eighths (halve them, halve the halves, then halve the quarters)
- Chop the mushrooms. If using button mushrooms, half them. If using larger mushrooms, quarter them.
- Chop the onion finely.
- Gather the following kitchenware: A big pan (stock pot or similar), a sauté pan (a big wok or frying pan will do), a small frying pan (here a wok will not do), and a saucepan (a rice cook will also do)
Now, for actual cooking:
- Cook the red lentils until soft (I use a rice cooker, but a saucepan is fine) and set aside
- Sauté the cabbage, put it in the big pot (not yet on the heat!)
- Fry the mushrooms, put them in the big pot (still not yet on the heat!)
When you’ve done this a few times and/or if you’re feeling confident, you can do the above simultaneously to save time
- Blend the lentils into the water you cooked them in, and then add to the big pot.
- Turn the heat on low, and if necessary, add more water to make it into a rich soup
- Add the seasonings to taste, except the parsley. Go easy on the cumin, be generous with the rosemary and thyme, let your heart guide you with the salt and pepper.
- When it comes to the yeast extract: add about one teaspoon and stir it into the pot. Even if you don’t like Marmite, it barely changes the flavour (makes it slightly richer) and adds a healthy dose of vitamin B12.
We did not forget the tomatoes and the onion:
- Caramelize the onion (keep an eye on the big pot) and set it aside
- Fry the tomatoes and add them to the big pot
Last but definitely not least:
- Serve!
- The caramelized onion is a garnish, so put a little on top of each bowl of shchi
- The parsley is also a garnish, just add a little
Any shchi you don’t eat today will keep in the fridge for several days, or in the freezer for much longer.
*That nutritious goodness I talked about? Check it out:
- Lentils are high in protein and iron
- Cabbage is high in vitamin C and calcium
- Mushrooms are high in magnesium
- Tomatoes are good against inflammation
- Black pepper has a host of health benefits
- Yeast extract contains vitamin B12
Let us know how it went! We love to receive emails from our subscribers!
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The Longevity Project – by Dr. Howard Friedman & Dr. Leslie Martin
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Most books on the topic of longevity focus on such things as diet and exercise, and indeed, those are of course important things. But what of psychological and sociological factors?
Dr. Friedman and Dr. Martin look at a landmark longitudinal study, following a large group of subjects from childhood into old age. Looking at many lifestyle factors and life events, they crunched the numbers to see what things really made the biggest impact on healthy longevity.
A strength of the book is that this study had a huge amount of data—a limitation of the book is that it often avoids giving that concrete data, preferring to say “many”, “a majority”, “a large minority”, “some”, and so forth.
However, the conclusions from the data seem clear, and include many observations such as:
- conscientiousness is a characteristic that not only promotes healthy long life, but also can be acquired as time goes by (some “carefree” children became “conscientious” adults)
- resilience is a characteristic that promotes healthy long life—but tends to only be “unlocked” by adversity
- men tend to live longer if married—women, not so much
- religion and spirituality are not big factors in healthy longevity—but social connections (that may or may not come with such) do make a big difference
Bottom line: if you’d like to know which of your decisions are affecting your healthy longevity (beyond the obvious diet, exercise, etc), this is a great book for collating that information and presenting, in essence, a guideline for a long healthy life.
Click here to check out The Longevity Project and see how it applies to your life!
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Get Well, Stay Well – by Dr. Gemma Newman
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Dr. Gemma Newman is a GP (British equivalent of what in America is called a “family doctor”) who realized she was functioning great as a diagnostic flowchart interpreter and pill dispensary, but not actually doing much of what she got into the job to do: helping people.
Her patients were getting plenty of treatments, but not getting better. Often, they were getting worse. And she knew why: they come in for treatment for one medical problem, when they have six and a half medical problems probably a stack of non-medical problems that contributed to them,
So, this book sets out to do what she tries to do in her office, but often doesn’t have the time: treat the whole person.
In it, she details what areas of life to look at, what things are most likely to contribute to wellness/unwellness (be those things completely in your power or not), and how to—bit by bit—make all the parts better, and keep them that way.
The writing style is conversational, and while it’s heavily informed by her professional competence, there’s no arcane science here; it’s more about the system of bringing everything together harmoniously.
Bottom line: if you think there’s more to wellness than can be represented on an annual physicals chart, then this is the book to help you get/keep on top of things.
Click here to check out Get Well, Stay Well, and do just that!
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