The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – by Dr. John Gottman

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A lot of relationship advice can seem a little wishy-washy. Hardline clinical work, on the other hand, can seem removed from the complex reality of married life. Dr. Gottman, meanwhile, strikes a perfect balance.

He looks at huge datasets, and he listens to very many couples. He famously isolated four relational factors that predict divorce with 91% accuracy, his “Four Horsemen”:

  1. Criticism
  2. Contempt
  3. Defensiveness
  4. Stonewalling

He also, as the title of this book promises (and we get a chapter-by-chapter deep-dive on each of them) looks at “Seven principles for making marriage work”. They’re not one-word items, so including them here would take up the rest of our space, and this is a book review not a book summary. However…

Dr. Gottman’s seven principles are, much like his more famous “four horsemen”, deeply rooted in science, while also firmly grounded in the reality of individual couples. Essentially, by listening to very many couples talk about their relationships, and seeing how things panned out with each of them in the long-term, he was able to see what things kept on coming up each time in the couples that worked out. What did they do differently?

And, that’s the real meat of the book. Science yes, but lots of real-world case studies and examples, from couples that worked and couples that didn’t.

In so doing, he provides a roadmap for couples who are serious about making their marriage the best it can be.

Bottom line: this is a must-have book for couples in general, no matter how good or bad the relationship.

  • For some it’ll be a matter of realising “You know what; this isn’t going to work”
  • For others, it’ll be a matter of “Ah, relief, this is how we can resolve that!”
  • For still yet others, it’ll be a matter of “We’re doing these things right; let’s keep them forefront in our minds and never get complacent!”
  • And for everyone who is in a relationship or thinking of getting into one, it’s a top-tier manual.

Click here to check out the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and secure what’s most important to you!

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    From miracle medicines to menaces and back, delve into the turbulent histories of cannabis, cocaine, and heroin – once legal, banned, then medicalized anew.

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  • Reverse Inflammation Naturally – by Dr. Michelle Honda

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    This book is in some ways not as marketable as some; it doesn’t have lots of colorful healthy food on the cover; it doesn’t even have a “woman laughing alone with salad” (you know the stock photo trope), let alone someone looking glamorous in a labcoat with a stethoscope draped over their shoulder despite listening to hearts not being a regular part of their job as an immunologist or such.

    What it does have, instead, is a lot of very useful information, and much more than you’ll usually find in a book for laypeople.

    For example, you probably know that for fighting inflammation, a green salad is better than a cheeseburger, say, and a black coffee is better than a glass of wine.

    But do you know about the roles, for good or ill, of prostaglandins and linoleic fats vs dietary fats? How about delta-6-desaturase? Neu5Gc and arachidonic acid?

    Dr. Honda demystifies all of these and more, as well as talking about the impacts of very many foods and related habits on various different inflammation-based disease. And of course, almost all disease involves some kind of inflammation (making fighting inflammation one of the best things you can do for your overall disease-avoidance strategy!), but she singles out some of the most relevant, as per the list on the front cover.

    She also talks a lot of “pharmacy in your kitchen”, in other words, what herbs, spices, and plant extracts we can enjoy for (evidence-based!) benefits on top of our default healthy diet free (or at least mostly free, for surely none of us are perfect) from inflammatory agents.

    Not content with merely giving a huge amount of information, she also gives recipes and a meal plan, but honestly, it’s the informational chapters that are the real value of the book.

    Bottom line: if you’d like to reduce your body’s inflammation levels (and/or perhaps those of a loved one for whom you cook), then this book will be an invaluable resource.

    Click here to check out Reverse Inflammation Naturally, and reverse inflammation naturally!

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  • TED-x | Sugar Is Not A Treat

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    Dr. Jody Stanislaw offers a reframe:

    Not so sweet

    The pancreas isn’t an organ that most people think about a lot, but it regulates blood sugar levels by releasing insulin as needed. Overworking the beta cells in the pancreas that do this, can lead to their burnout, which contributes to prediabetes and type 2 diabetes.

    If, like Dr. Stanislaw, you already have Type 1 Diabetes (an autoimmune condition usually diagnosed in early childhood and unrelated to what one has or hasn’t been eating), then your pancreas is already not doing much, or rather, it’s too busy fighting itself to actually do its job. This means that taking exogenous insulin (i.e., from the pharmacy rather than from your dysfunctional pancreas) will be necessary for survival. Most people with T1D will have an insulin pump if possible, to provide insulin as needed. Others will rely on injections.

    So, does that mean that T1D is a free pass on the diabetes-related health risks of sugar, since after all, you already have diabetes anyway?

    Nope, no such luck. Because in the case of T1D, if you then get insulin resistance on top of the fact you don’t make your own insulin, then the insulin that you are taking will stop working, and ultimately you will die. So, that’s pretty important to avoid!

    Thus, Dr. Stanislaw has strong opinions on diet in this regard, and she recommends her own protocol regardless of whether you are diabetic or not:

    • Avoid refined carbs (e.g. bread, pasta, or foods with added sugars).
    • Start the day with protein-rich foods for balanced blood sugar.
    • Drink water to curb sugar cravings caused by dehydration.
    • Use low-carb substitutes (e.g. cauliflower pizza crust, zucchini noodles, etc).

    While Dr. Stanislaw does recommend an 80:20 approach to eating in general (80% healthy foods, 20% indulgences), she does strongly suggest not putting sugar even into the “indulgences” 20%, because a) a diet of 20% sugar is not at all good, and b) the dangers of sugar consumption are particularly high, so it is better reframed not as a treat to be enjoyed, but rather as a threat to be avoided.

    For more on all of this, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    5 Steps To Quit Sugar Easily

    Take care!

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  • Semaglutide for Weight Loss?

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    Semaglutide for weight loss?

    Semaglutide is the new kid on the weight-loss block, but it’s looking promising (with some caveats!).

    Most popularly by brand names Ozempic and Wegovy, it was first trialled to help diabetics*, and is now sought-after by the rest of the population too. So far, only Wegovy is FDA-approved for weight loss. It contains more semaglutide than Ozempic, and was developed specifically for weight loss, rather than for diabetes.

    *Specifically: diabetics with type 2 diabetes. Because it works by helping the pancreas to make insulin, it’s of no help whatsoever to T1D folks, sadly. If you’re T1D and reading this though, today’s book of the day is for you!

    First things first: does it work as marketed for diabetes?

    It does! At a cost: a very common side effect is gastrointestinal problems—same as for tirzepatide, which (like semaglutide) is a GLP-1 agonist, meaning it works the same way. Here’s how they measure up:

    As you can see, both of them work wonders for pancreatic function and insulin sensitivity!

    And, both of them were quite unpleasant for around 20% of participants:

    ❝Tirzepatide, oral and SC semaglutide has a favourable efficacy in treating T2DM. Gastrointestinal adverse events were highly recorded in tirzepatide, oral and SC semaglutide groups.❞

    ~ Zaazouee et al., 2022

    What about for weight loss, if not diabetic?

    It works just the same! With just the same likelihood of gastro-intestinal unpleasantries, though. There’s a very good study that was done with 1,961 overweight adults; here it is:

    Once-Weekly Semaglutide in Adults with Overweight or Obesity

    The most interesting things here are the positive results and the side effects:

    ❝The mean change in body weight from baseline to week 68 was −14.9% in the semaglutide group as compared with −2.4% with placebo, for an estimated treatment difference of −12.4 percentage points (95% confidence interval [CI], −13.4 to −11.5; P<0.001).❞

    ~ Wilding et al., 2021

    In other words: if you take this, you’re almost certainly going to get something like 6x better weight loss results than doing the same thing without it.

    ❝Nausea and diarrhea were the most common adverse events with semaglutide; they were typically transient and mild-to-moderate in severity and subsided with time. More participants in the semaglutide group than in the placebo group discontinued treatment owing to gastrointestinal events (59 [4.5%] vs. 5 [0.8%])❞

    ~ ibid.

    In other words: you have about a 3% chance of having unpleasant enough side effects that you don’t want to continue treatment (contrast this with the 20%ish chance of unpleasant side effects of any extent)!

    Any other downsides we should know about?

    If you stop taking it, weight regain is likely. For example, a participant in one of the above-mentioned studies who lost 22% of her body weight with the drug’s help, says:

    ❝Now that I am no longer taking the drug, unfortunately, my weight is returning to what it used to be. It felt effortless losing weight while on the trial, but now it has gone back to feeling like a constant battle with food. I hope that, if the drug can be approved for people like me, my [doctor] will be able to prescribe the drug for me in the future.❞

    ~ Jan, a trial participant at UCLH

    Source: Gamechanger drug for treating obesity cuts body weight by 20% <- University College London Hospitals (NHS)

    Is it injection-only, or is there an oral option?

    An oral option exists, but (so far) is on the market only in the form of Rybelsus, another (slightly older) drug containing semaglutide, and it’s (so far) only FDA-approved for diabetes, not for weight loss. See:

    A new era for oral peptides: SNAC and the development of oral semaglutide for the treatment of type 2 diabetes ← for the science

    FDA approves first oral GLP-1 treatment for type 2 diabetes ← For the FDA statement

    Where can I get these?

    Availability and prescribing regulations vary by country (because the FDA’s authority stops at the US borders), but here is the website for each of them if you’d like to learn more / consider if they might help you:

    Rybelsus / Ozempic / Wegovy

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Related Posts

  • Move – by Caroline Williams
  • Owning Your Weight – by Henri Marcoux

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    A lot of diet books—which this isn’t—presuppose that the reader wants to lose weight, and varyingly encourage and shame the reader into trying to do so.

    Dr. Henri Marcoux takes a completely different approach.

    He starts by assuming we are—whether consciously or not—the weight we want to be, and looks at the various physical and psychological factors that influence us to such. Ranging from food poverty to eating our feelings to social factors and more, he bids us examine our relationship with food and eating—not just in the sense of mindful eating, but from multiple scientific angles too.

    From this, Dr. Marcoux gives us questions and suggestions to ensure that our relationship with food and eating is what we want it to be, for us.

    Much of the latter part of the book covers not just how to go about the requisite lifestyle changes… But also how to implement things in a way that sticks, and is a genuine pleasure to implement. If this sounds over-the-top, the truth is that it’s just because it honestly is a lower-stress way of living.

    Bottom line: if you want to gain or lose weight, there’s a good chance this book will help you. If you want to be happier and healthier at the weight you are, there’s a good chance this book will help you with that, too.

    Click here to check out Owning Your Weight, and take control of yours!

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  • What should I do if I can’t see a psychiatrist?

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    People presenting at emergency with mental health concerns are experiencing the longest wait times in Australia for admission to a ward, according to a new report from the Australasian College of Emergency Medicine.

    But with half of New South Wales’ public psychiatrists set to resign next week after ongoing pay disputes – and amid national shortages in the mental health workforce – Australians who rely on psychiatry support may be wondering where else to go.

    If you can’t get in to see a psychiatrist and you need help, there are some other options. However in an emergency, you should call 000.

    Why do people see a psychiatrist?

    Psychiatrists are doctors who specialise in mental health and can prescribe medication.

    People seek or require psychiatry support for many reasons. These may include:

    • severe depression, including suicidal thoughts or behaviours
    • severe anxiety, panic attacks or phobias
    • post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
    • eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia
    • attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

    Psychiatrists complement other mental health clinicians by prescribing certain medications and making decisions about hospital admission. But when psychiatry support is not available a range of team members can contribute to a person’s mental health care.

    Can my GP help?

    Depending on your mental health concerns, your GP may be able to offer alternatives while you await formal psychiatry care.

    GPs provide support for a range of mental health concerns, regardless of formal diagnosis. They can help address the causes and impact of issues including mental distress, changes in sleep, thinking, mood or behaviour.

    The GP Psychiatry Support Line also provides doctors advice on care, prescription medication and how support can work.

    It’s a good idea to book a long consult and consider taking a trusted person. Be explicit about how you’ve been feeling and what previous supports or medication you’ve accessed.

    What about psychologists, counsellors or community services?

    Your GP should also be aware of supports available locally and online.

    For example, Head to Health is a government initiative, including information, a nationwide phone line, and in-person clinics in Victoria. It aims to improve mental health advice, assessment and access to treatment.

    Medicare Mental Health Centres provide in-person care and are expanding across Australia.

    There are also virtual care services in some areas. This includes advice on individualised assessment including whether to go to hospital.

    Some community groups are led by peers rather than clinicians, such as Alternatives to Suicide.

    How about if I’m rural or regional?

    Accessing support in rural or regional areas is particularly tough.

    Beyond helplines and formal supports, other options include local Suicide Prevention Networks and community initiatives such as ifarmwell and Men’s sheds.

    Should I go to emergency?

    As the new report shows, people who present at hospital emergency departments for mental health should expect long wait times before being admitted to a ward.

    But going to a hospital emergency department will be essential for some who are experiencing a physical or mental health crisis.

    Managing suicide-related distress

    With the mass resignation of NSW psychiatrists looming, and amid shortages and blown-out emergency waiting times, people in suicide-related distress must receive the best available care and support.

    Roughly nine Australians die by suicide each day. One in six have had thoughts of suicide at some point in their lives.

    Suicidal thoughts can pass. There are evidence-based strategies people can immediately turn to when distressed and in need of ongoing care.

    Safety planning is a popular suicide prevention strategy to help you stay safe.

    What is a safety plan?

    This is a personalised, step-by-step plan to remain safe during the onset or worsening of suicidal urges.

    You can develop a safety plan collaboratively with a clinician and/or peer worker, or with loved ones. You can also make one on your own – many people like to use the Beyond Now app.

    Safety plans usually include:

    1. recognising personal warning signs of a crisis (for example, feeling like a burden)
    2. identifying and using internal coping strategies (such as distracting yourself by listening to favourite music)
    3. seeking social supports for distraction (for example, visiting your local library)
    4. letting trusted family or friends know how you’re feeling – ideally, they should know they’re in your safety plan
    5. knowing contact details of specific mental health services (your GP, mental health supports, local hospital)
    6. making the environment safer by removing or limiting access to lethal means
    7. identifying specific and personalised reasons for living.

    Our research shows safety planning is linked to reduced suicidal thoughts and behaviour, as well as feelings of depression and hopelessness, among adults.

    Evidence from people with lived experience shows safety planning helps people to understand their warning signs and practice coping strategies.

    A serious-looking woman touches a man's shoulder as they sit on a couch.
    Sharing your safety plan with loved ones may help understand warning signs of a crisis. Dragana Gordic/Shutterstock

    Are there helplines I can call?

    There are people ready to listen, by phone or online chat, Australia-wide. You can try any of the following (most are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week):

    Suicide helplines:

    There is also specialised support:

    Additionally, each state and territory will have its own list of mental health resources.

    With uncertain access to services, it’s helpful to remember that there are people who care. You don’t have to go it alone.

    Monika Ferguson, Senior Lecturer in Mental Health, University of South Australia and Nicholas Procter, Professor and Chair: Mental Health Nursing, University of South Australia

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Strawberries vs Blackberries – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing strawberries to blackberries, we picked the blackberries.

    Why?

    Shocking nobody, both are very healthy options. However, blackberries do come out on top:

    In terms of macros, the main thing that sets them apart is that blackberries have more than 2x the fiber. Other differences in macros are also in blackberries’ favor, but only very marginally, so we’ll not distract with those here. The fiber difference is distinctly significant, though.

    In the category of vitamins, blackberries lead with more of vitamins A, B2, B3, B5, B9, E, and K, as well as more choline. Meanwhile, strawberries boast more of vitamins B1, B6, and C. So, a 8:2 advantage for blackberries (and some of the margins are very large, such as 9x more choline, 4x more vitamin E, and nearly 18x more vitamin A).

    When it comes to minerals, things are not less clear: blackberries have considerably more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, and zinc. The two fruits are equal in other minerals that they both contain, and strawberries don’t contain any mineral in greater amounts than blackberries do.

    A discussion of these berries’ health benefits would be incomplete without at least mentioning polyphenols, but both of them are equally good sources of such, so there’s no distinction to set one above the other in this category.

    As ever, enjoy both, though! Diversity is good.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Take care!

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