It’s On Me – by Dr. Sara Kuburic
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This isn’t about bootstrapping and nor is it a motivational pep talk. What it is, however, is a wake-up call for the wayward, and that doesn’t mean “disaffected youth” or such. Rather, therapist Dr. Sara Kuburic tackles the problem of self-loss.
It’s about when we get so caught up in what we need to do, should do, are expected to do, are in a rut of doing… That we forget to also live. After all, we only get one shot at life so far as we know, so we might as well live it in whatever way is right for us.
That probably doesn’t mean a life of going through the motions.
The writing style here is personal and direct, and it makes for quite compelling reading from start to finish.
Bottom line: if ever you find yourself errantly sleepwalking through life and would like to change that, this is a book for you.
Click here to check out It’s On Me, and take control of what’s yours!
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How much does your phone’s blue light really delay your sleep? Relax, it’s just 2.7 minutes
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It’s one of the most pervasive messages about technology and sleep. We’re told bright, blue light from screens prevents us falling asleep easily. We’re told to avoid scrolling on our phones before bedtime or while in bed. We’re sold glasses to help filter out blue light. We put our phones on “night mode” to minimise exposure to blue light.
But what does the science actually tell us about the impact of bright, blue light and sleep? When our group of sleep experts from Sweden, Australia and Israel compared scientific studies that directly tested this, we found the overall impact was close to meaningless. Sleep was disrupted, on average, by less than three minutes.
We showed the message that blue light from screens stops you from falling asleep is essentially a myth, albeit a very convincing one.
Instead, we found a more nuanced picture about technology and sleep.
Mangostar/Shutterstock What we did
We gathered evidence from 73 independent studies with a total of 113,370 participants of all ages examining various factors that connect technology use and sleep.
We did indeed find a link between technology use and sleep, but not necessarily what you’d think.
We found that sometimes technology use can lead to poor sleep and sometimes poor sleep can lead to more technology use. In other words, the relationship between technology and sleep is complex and can go both ways.
How is technology supposed to harm sleep?
Technology is proposed to harm our sleep in a number of ways. But here’s what we found when we looked at the evidence:
- bright screen light – across 11 experimental studies, people who used a bright screen emitting blue light before bedtime fell asleep an average of only 2.7 minutes later. In some studies, people slept better after using a bright screen. When we were invited to write about this evidence further, we showed there is still no meaningful impact of bright screen light on other sleep characteristics including the total amount or quality of sleep
- arousal is a measure of whether people become more alert depending on what they’re doing on their device. Across seven studies, people who engaged in more alerting or “exciting” content (for example, video games) lost an average of only about 3.5 minutes of sleep compared to those who engaged in something less exciting (for example, TV). This tells us the content of technology alone doesn’t affect sleep as much as we think
- we found sleep disruption at night (for example, being awoken by text messages) and sleep displacement (using technology past the time that we could be sleeping) can lead to sleep loss. So while technology use was linked to less sleep in these instances, this was unrelated to being exposed to bright, blue light from screens before bedtime.
Which factors encourage more technology use?
Research we reviewed suggests people tend to use more technology at bedtime for two main reasons:
- to “fill the time” when they’re not yet sleepy. This is common for teenagers, who have a biological shift in their sleep patterns that leads to later sleep times, independent of technology use.
- to calm down negative emotions and thoughts at bedtime, for apparent stress reduction and to provide comfort.
There are also a few things that might make people more vulnerable to using technology late into the night and losing sleep.
We found people who are risk-takers or who lose track of time easily may turn off devices later and sacrifice sleep. Fear of missing out and social pressures can also encourage young people in particular to stay up later on technology.
What helps us use technology sensibly?
Last of all, we looked at protective factors, ones that can help people use technology more sensibly before bed.
The two main things we found that helped were self-control, which helps resist the short-term rewards of clicking and scrolling, and having a parent or loved one to help set bedtimes.
We found having a parent or loved one to help set bedtimes encourages sensible use of technology. fast-stock/Shutterstock Why do we blame blue light?
The blue light theory involves melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep. During the day, we are exposed to bright, natural light that contains a high amount of blue light. This bright, blue light activates certain cells at the back of our eyes, which send signals to our brain that it’s time to be alert. But as light decreases at night, our brain starts to produce melatonin, making us feel sleepy.
It’s logical to think that artificial light from devices could interfere with the production of melatonin and so affect our sleep. But studies show it would require light levels of about 1,000-2,000 lux (a measure of the intensity of light) to have a significant impact.
Device screens emit only about 80-100 lux. At the other end of the scale, natural sunlight on a sunny day provides about 100,000 lux.
What’s the take-home message?
We know that bright light does affect sleep and alertness. However our research indicates the light from devices such as smartphones and laptops is nowhere near bright or blue enough to disrupt sleep.
There are many factors that can affect sleep, and bright, blue screen light likely isn’t one of them.
The take-home message is to understand your own sleep needs and how technology affects you. Maybe reading an e-book or scrolling on socials is fine for you, or maybe you’re too often putting the phone down way too late. Listen to your body and when you feel sleepy, turn off your device.
Chelsea Reynolds, Casual Academic/Clinical Educator and Clinical Psychologist, College of Education, Psychology and Social Work, Flinders University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Delicious Quinoa Avocado Bread
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They’re gluten-free, full of protein and healthy fats, generous with the fiber, easy to make, and tasty too! What’s not to love? Keep this recipe (and its ingredients) handy for next time you want healthy burger buns or similar:
You will need
- 2½ cups quinoa flour
- 2 cups almond flour (if allergic, just substitute more quinoa flour)
- 1 avocado, peeled, pitted, and mashed
- zest and juice of 1 lime
- 2 tbsp ground flaxseed
- 1 tsp baking powder
- ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt
- Optional: seeds, oats, or similar for topping the buns
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Preheat the oven to 350℉/175℃.
2) Mix the flaxseed with ⅓ cup warm water and set aside.
3) Mix, in a large bowl, the quinoa flour and almond flour with the baking powder and the MSG or salt.
4) Mix, in a separate smaller bowl, the avocado and lime.
5) Add the wet ingredients to the dry, slowly, adding an extra ½ cup water as you do, and knead into a dough.
6) Divide the dough into 4 equal portions, each shaped into a ball and then slightly flattened, to create a burger bun shape. If you’re going to add any seeds or similar as a topping, add those now.
7) Bake them in the oven (on a baking sheet lined with baking paper) for 20–25 minutes. You can check whether they’re done the same way you would a cake, by piercing them to the center with a toothpick and seeing whether it comes out clean.
8) Serve when sufficiently cooled.
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:
- Gluten: What’s The Truth?
- Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!
- Monosodium Glutamate: Sinless Flavor-Enhancer Or Terrible Health Risk?
Take care!
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Science-backed ways to take care of your mental health this winter
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The colder, darker months can take a toll on well-being. Two out of five U.S. adults say their mental health worsens in the winter. Plus, about five percent of U.S. adults experience seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression induced by seasonal changes that typically begins when the weather gets colder and there’s less daylight.
Fortunately, there are science-backed lifestyle changes that can make this time of year more tolerable. Here’s how to take care of your mental health this winter.
Exercise regularly
When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, or “feel-good” chemicals that can improve your mood. A 2024 review of studies found that exercise—particularly walking, jogging, yoga, and strength training—can reduce symptoms of depression.
Before starting a new exercise routine, talk to your health care provider about the types of exercise that may work best for you.
Get outside
While getting outside during the colder months may feel challenging, time outdoors—especially in nature—has been shown to decrease stress, depression, and anxiety. Plus, sunlight helps your body make vitamin D, which may improve your energy and mood.
You can reap the benefits of nature no matter where you live.
“Cities can be very energetic and exciting but also can contribute to both conscious and unconscious stress from the sensory overload and challenges of maneuvering in those spaces,” said Jodie M. Smith, a Mayo Clinic nurse practitioner, in a 2024 Mayo Clinic article. “If you live in an urban environment, exploring to find even a small natural reprieve can be extremely beneficial.”
Prioritize sleep
Inadequate sleep has been linked to depression and anxiety. Taking steps to improve the quality and duration of your sleep can help you become more resilient against stressors.
You can improve your sleep by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day; avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and large meals before bed; keeping your bedroom cool and dark; and limiting exposure to distressing media in the evening.
Practice gratitude
Research suggests that people who practice gratitude are less likely to experience depression. It can also help you make lifestyle changes that improve your well-being overall.
“Practicing gratitude may also make someone a bit more motivated to take care of their health,” said Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Spirituality, and Religion at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, in a 2024 Harvard Health Publishing article. “Maybe they’re more likely to show up for medical appointments or exercise. It may also help with relationships and social support, which we know contribute to health.”
Add more gratitude to your life by sharing what you’re grateful for with others or keeping a gratitude journal.
Spend quality time with loved ones
“Social isolation and loneliness have a serious impact on physical and mental health, quality of life, and longevity,” according to the World Health Organization, with effects comparable to other risk factors like smoking.
Research shows that people who have close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to experience depression. Even after holiday gatherings have ended, schedule time with friends and family to stay positive and feel supported.
Limit cell phone use
Social media use and “doomscrolling” inflammatory news headlines are both associated with anxiety and depression across age groups, especially in teens.
“Excessive social media use is associated with behaviors, such as poor sleep, increased social comparisons, impact on learning, and exposure to cyberbullying and negative content, that could contribute to the worsening of depressive symptoms,” Dr. Carol Vidal, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, said in a Hopkins Medicine article.
Minimize the time you and your family members spend on your phones by pausing notifications, keeping your phone out of reach when you’re preparing for sleep, using a “grayscale” setting to make scrolling less enticing, and finding phone-free hobbies to enjoy.
Light therapy
Light therapy is one treatment for people who have been diagnosed with SAD. It involves sitting in front of a bright light box for 30 to 45 minutes per day to increase light exposure.
This treatment may not be right for people who take certain medications or have eye diseases. Talk to your health care provider about whether light therapy is right for you and what type of light box you should use.
Seek professional support
If your mental health over the winter interferes with your daily functioning, seek help from a therapist, support group, or mental health hotline. Find resources here.
This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Managing Jealousy
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Jealousy is often thought of as a young people’s affliction, but it can affect us at any age—whether we are the one being jealous, or perhaps a partner.
And, the “green-eyed monster” can really ruin a lot of things; relationships, friendships, general happiness, physical health even (per stress and anxiety and bad sleep), and more.
The thing is, jealousy looks like one thing, but is actually mostly another.
Jealousy is a Scooby-Doo villain
That is to say: we can unmask it and see what much less threatening thing is underneath. Which is usually nothing more nor less than: insecurities
- Insecurity about losing one’s partner
- Insecurity about not being good enough
- Insecurity about looking bad socially
…etc. The latter, by the way, is usually the case when one’s partner is socially considered to be giving cause for jealousy, but the primary concern is not actually relational loss or any kind of infidelity, but rather, looking like one cannot keep one’s partner’s full attention romantically/sexually. This drives a lot of people to act on jealousy for the sake of appearances, in situations where they might otherwise, if they didn’t feel like they’d be adversely judged for it, be considerably more chill.
Thus, while monogamy certainly has its fine merits, there can also be a kind of “toxic monogamy” at hand, where a relationship becomes unhealthy because one partner is just trying to live up to social expectations of keeping the other partner in check.
This, by the way, is something that people in polyamorous and/or open relationships typically handle quite neatly, even if a lot of the following still applies. But today, we’re making the statistically safe assumption of a monogamous relationship, and talking about that!
How to deal with the social aspect
If you sit down with your partner and work out in advance the acceptable parameters of your relationship, you’ll be ahead of most people already. For example…
- What counts as cheating? Is it all and any sex acts with all and any people? If not, where’s the line?
- What about kissing? What about touching other body parts? If there are boundaries that are important to you, talk about them. Nothing is “too obvious” because it’s astonishing how many times it will happen that later someone says (in good faith or not), “but I thought…”
- What about being seen in various states of undress? Or seeing other people in various states of undress?
- Is meaningless flirting between friends ok, and if so, how do we draw the line with regard to what is meaningless? And how are we defining flirting, for that matter? Talk about it and ensure you are both on the same page.
- If a third party is possibly making moves on one of us under the guise of “just being friendly”, where and how do we draw the line between friendliness and romantic/sexual advances? What’s the difference between a lunch date with a friend and a romantic meal out for two, and how can we define the difference in a way that doesn’t rely on subjective “well I didn’t think it was romantic”?
If all this seems like a lot of work, please bear in mind, it’s a lot more fun to cover this cheerfully as a fun couple exercise in advance, than it is to argue about it after the fact!
See also: Boundary-Setting Beyond “No”
How to deal with the more intrinsic insecurities
For example, when jealousy is a sign of a partner fearing not being good enough, not measuring up, or perhaps even losing their partner.
The key here might not shock you: communication
Specifically, reassurance. But critically, the correct reassurance!
A partner who is jealous will often seek the wrong reassurance, for example wanting to read their partner’s messages on their phone, or things like that. And while a natural desire when experiencing jealousy, it’s not actually helpful. Because while incriminating messages could confirm infidelity, it’s impossible to prove a negative, and if nothing incriminating is found, the jealous partner can just go on fearing the worst regardless. After all, their partner could have a burner phone somewhere, or a hidden app for cheating, or something else like that. So, no reassurance can ever be given/gained by such requests (which can also become unpleasantly controlling, which hopefully nobody wants).
A quick note on “if you have nothing to fear, you have nothing to hide”: rhetorically that works, but practically it doesn’t.
Writer’s example: when my late partner and I formalized our relationship, we discussed boundaries, and I expressed “so far as I am concerned, I have no secrets from you, except secrets that are not mine to share. For example, if someone has confided in me and asked that I not share it, I won’t. Aside from that, you have access-all-areas in my life; me being yours has its privileges” and this policy itself would already pre-empt any desire to read my messages.
Now indeed, I had nothing to hide. I am by character devoted to a fault. But my friends may well sometimes have things they don’t want me to share, which made that a necessary boundary to highlight (which my partner, an absolute angel by the way and not prone to unhealthy manifestations of jealousy in any case, understood completely).
So, it is best if the partner of a jealous person can explain the above principles as necessary, and offer the correct reassurance instead. Which could be any number of things, but for example:
- I am yours, and nobody else has a chance
- I fully intend to stay with you for life
- You are the best partner I have ever had
- Being with you makes my life so much better
…etc. Note that none of these are “you don’t have to worry about so-and-so”, or “I am not cheating on you”, etc, because it’s about yours and your partner’s relationship. If they ask for reassurances with regard to other people or activities, by all means state them as appropriate, but try to keep the focus on you two.
And if your partner (or you, if it’s you who’s jealous) can express the insecurity in the format…
“I’m afraid of _____ because _____”
…then the “because” will allow for much more specific reassurance. We all have insecurities, we all have reasons we might fear not being good enough for our partner, or losing their affection, and the best thing we can do is choose to trust our partners at least enough to discuss those fears openly with each other.
See also: Save Time With Better Communication ← this can avoid a lot of time-consuming arguments
What about if the insecurity is based in something demonstrably correct?
By this we mean, something like a prior history of cheating, or other reasons for trust issues. In such a case, the jealous partner may well have a reason for their jealousy that isn’t based on a personal insecurity.
In our previous article about boundaries, we talked about relationships (romantic or otherwise) having a “price of entry”. In this case, you each have a “price of entry”:
- The “price of entry” to being with the person who has previously cheated (or similar), is being able to accept that.
- And for the person who cheated (or similar), very likely their partner will have the “price of entry” of “don’t do that again, and also meanwhile accept in good grace that I might be jittery about it”.
And, if the betrayal of trust was something that happened between the current partners in the current relationship, most likely that was also traumatic for the person whose trust was betrayed. Many people in that situation find that trust can indeed be rebuilt, but slowly, and the pain itself may also need treatment (such as therapy and/or couples therapy specifically).
See also: Relationships: When To Stick It Out & When To Call It Quits ← this covers both sides
And finally, to finish on a happy note:
Only One Kind Of Relationship Promotes Longevity This Much!
Take care!
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What are house dust mites and how do I know if I’m allergic to them?
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People often believe they are allergic to house dust. But of the 20% of Australians suffereing with allergies, a number are are actually allergic to microscopic house dust mites.
House dust mites belong to the same family as spiders and ticks. They measure just 0.2-0.3 mm, with 50 fitting on a single pinhead. They live for 65–100 days, and females lay 60–100 eggs in their life.
Some 50 house dust mites can fit on one pinhead. Choksawatdikorn/Shutterstock House dust mites love temperate climates and humidity. They feed off the skin cells we and animals shed, as well as mould, which they digest using special enzymes. These enzymes are excreted in their poo about 20 times a day. They also shed fragments of their exoskeletons.
All these fragments trigger allergies in people with this type of allergic rhinitis (which is also known as hay fever)
shuttertock. PeopleImages.com – Yuri A/Shutterstock What are the symptoms?
When people with house dust mite allergy inhale the allergens, they penetrate the mucous membranes of the airways and eyes. Their body recognises the allergens as a threat, releasing chemicals including one called histamine.
This causes symptoms including a runny nose, an itchy nose, eyes and throat, sneezing, coughing and a feeling of mucus at the back of your throat (known as a post-nasal drip).
People with this type of allergy usually mouth breath, snore, rub their nose constantly (creating a nasal crease called the “dust mite salute”) and have dark shadows under their eyes.
House dust mite allergy can also cause poor sleep, constant tiredness, reduced concentration at work or school and lower quality of life.
For people with eczema, their damaged skin barrier can allow house dust mite proteins in. This prompts immune cells in the skin to release chemicals which make already flared skin become redder, sorer and itchier, especially in children.
Symptoms of house dust mite allergy occur year round, and are often worse after going to bed and when waking in the morning. But people with house dust mite allergy and pollen allergies find their year-round symptoms worsen in spring.
How is it diagnosed?
House dust mite allergy symptoms often build up over months, or even years before people seek help. But an accurate diagnosis means you can not only access the right treatment – it’s also vital for minimising exposure.
Your clinician can talk you through treatment options and how to minimise exposure. Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Doctor and nurse practitioners can order a blood test to check for house dust mite allergy.
Alternatively, health care providers with specialised allergy training can perform skin prick tests. This involves placing drops of the allergens on the arm, along with a positive and negative “control”. After 15 minutes, those who test positive will have developed a mosquito bite-like mark.
How is it treated?
Medication options include one or a combination of:
- daily non-sedating antihistamines
- a steroid nasal spray
- allergy eye drops.
Your health care professional will work with you to develop a rhinitis (hay fever) medical management plan to reduce your symptoms. If you’re using a nasal spray, your health provider will show you how to use it, as people often use it incorrectly.
If you also have asthma or eczema which is worsened by dust mites, your health provider will adapt your asthma action plan or eczema care plan accordingly.
If you experience severe symptoms, a longer-term option is immunotherapy. This aims to gradually turn off your immune system’s ability to recognise house dust mites as a harmful allergen.
Immunotherapy involves taking either a daily sublingual tablet, under the tongue, or a series of injections. Injections require monthly attendances over three years, after the initial weekly build-up phase.
These are effective, but are costly (as well as time-consuming). So it’s important to weigh up the potential benefits and downsides with your health-care provider.
How can you minimise house dust mites?
There are also important allergy minimisation measures you can take to reduce allergens in your home.
Each week, wash your bedding and pyjamas in hot water (over 60°C). This removes house dust mite eggs and debris.
Opt for doonas, covers or quilts that can be washed in hot water above 60°C. Alternatively, low-cost waterproof or leak proof covers can keep house dust mites out.
If you can, favour blinds and wood floors over curtains and carpet. Dust blinds and surfaces with a damp cloth each week and vacuum while wearing a mask, or have someone else do it, as house dust mites can become airborne during cleaning.
But beware of costly products with big marketing budgets and little evidence to support their use. A new mattress, for example, will always be house dust mite-free. But once slept on, the house dust mite life cycle can start.
Mattress protectors and toppers commonly claim to be “hypoallergenic”, “anti-allergy” or “allergy free”. But their pore sizes are not small enough to keep house dust mites and their poo out, or shed skin going through.
Sprays claiming to kill mites require so much spray to penetrate the product that it’s likely to become wet, may smell like the spray and, unless dried properly, may grow mould.
Finally, claims that expensive vacuum cleaners can extract all the house dust mites are unsubstantiated.
For more information, visit healthdirect.gov.au or the Australian Society of Clinical Immunology and Allergy.
Deryn Lee Thompson, Eczema and Allergy Nurse; Lecturer, University of South Australia
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Senior Meetup Groups Combating Loneliness
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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
“I would like to read more on loneliness, meetup group’s for seniors. Thank you”
Well, 10almonds is an international newsletter, so it’s hard for us to advise about (necessarily: local) meetup groups!
But a very popular resource for connecting to your local community is Nextdoor, which operates throughout the US, Canada, Australia, and large parts of Europe including the UK.
In their own words:
Get the most out of your neighborhood with Nextdoor
It’s where communities come together to greet newcomers, exchange recommendations, and read the latest local news. Where neighbors support local businesses and get updates from public agencies. Where neighbors borrow tools and sell couches. It’s how to get the most out of everything nearby. Welcome, neighbor.
Curious? Click here to check it out and see if it’s of interest to you
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